I just got a letter from Land-Rover:
Dear Mr Ward, In view of recent events in the news, I’m writing to apologise in case you received a mailing about Range Rover Sport that could have caused concern.
It was a slim box with a flashing green light. Although marked as originating from Land Rover and clearly labelled as a marketing communication, we realised that in the current climate of heightened security, an electronic device like this could have aroused suspicion at first glance. We stopped the mailing as soon as we could, but some had already been sent.
It was never our intention that the mailing should cause any anxiety, so please accept my apologies if it did. If you have any concerns or questions at all, please don’t hesitate to call us free on 0800 *** ***.
So SUVs aren’t just a security concern when they’re full of burning doctors, they can also cause problems when the idiots from marketing get their hands on them. Come on Gordon, let’s ban the obnoxious things.
In the current climate (showery intervals) a letter bomb with a little flashing green light, presumably next to the sticker saying Warning, contains improvised explosive device, open immediately, is exactly what we can expect from these evil geniuses.
On the other hand, now is exactly the time for the real evil geniuses out there to send out actual letter bombs disguised as comedy letter bombs to everyone on the Range Rover Sport mailing list.
How are you on it anyway?
Ahem. Well, I did used to be a Land Rover fan because I had an old one. I’m not any more though. And you want to be careful sunshine, don’t you know it’s illegal to make suggestions like that?
You can take a boy out of the Land Rover…