It’s all about Wee

There’s a song on Neil Diamond’s new LP, 12 Songs, that I’m quite fond of. When I first heard it I thought it would be an ideal candidate for putting on one of the tapes I make for my grrls to listen to on long car jouneys. It’s a jolly, cheerful, soppy Sesame Street kind of song all about the nature of love.

Love is all about chemistry
Isn’t something you go off to school to learn
It isn’t math or ancient history
It’s the kind of thing that comes down to simple terms
It’s not about you
It’s not about me
Love is all about WE
Yes, it’s all about we

But I was forgetting the simple fact that there’s only one word in those lyrics that has any significance for children. Wee. One of the evil collection of elite words that will cause instant, tireless mirth in any child. Wee, Poo, Fart. They’re all solid gold, magic words as guaranteed to make children collapse with laughter as the sight of a man falling on his bum. There’s another one. So Neil Diamond must have never played this song in the presence of any child. If he had, he’d have heard this.
What’s so amazing is that Nintendo have gone and made the very same mistake. They’ve called their new gaming console “Wii”, pronounced “Wee”. It’s amazing. Has nobody who works for Nintendo ever spent any time with children? Or maybe their kids are so ernest that they wouldn’t find it funny. However, the connection with bodily functions is stronger that it first seems. Maybe the whole thing is intentional.

The novel one-handed device contains motion sensors that allow players to control the action onscreen by pointing it at their television and waving it around.

Heh heh.