I love the Pope, the Pope smokes dope.

I don’t mean to be profane, but I’m wondering about the Pope’s tracheotomy. As I understand it, the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation, in which the Pope surely believes, holds that the special bread eaten during the ritual of communion actually becomes the body of Christ after it’s swallowed. But if the Pope has a hole in his neck then what if the bread falls out again? Wouldn’t that be a holy relic far more potent than the Turin shroud?

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